So it turns out I have three uncles and three aunts whom I've never met. Through them, I have eight cousins -- five guys, three girls, all relatively close to me in age -- whom I've also never met. Oh, and my maternal grandfather is apparently still alive and kicking at the ripe old age of eighty-five. Haven't met him either.
My "new" uncle has suggested that he and my mother reunite by meeting up sometime after Easter.
Speaking of Easter, I'm traveling down to New Jersey visit the family this weekend. My sister and I have planned to dye eggs and get lit. I'm really hoping that "The Ten Commandments" is on television Saturday night. My only enduring Easter tradition is watching that on Easter weekend after everyone else has gone to bed.
I imagine that, drunk, it will come off like this: